Monday, April 16, 2012

Why are parents so offended?

In a recent discussion on a childfree friend's wall on facebook, she posed a question about overpopulation, asking why is it that people spay and neuter their pets in order to control the pet population, but people don't seem concerned at all about human overpopulation.

It's a good question, and I think it's one that more people need to think about, especially before they decide to have children.

She has quite a few childfree people on her friends list, so we were making points about the world being overpopulated, and that if you have even one child, you're contributing to the problem. A couple of us said that a lot of parents don't give it any thought and "just let it happen" (the statistic stating that 49% of pregnancies in the US are unplanned backs that up), and that people should give it more thought before they decide to have children.

One of her mommy friends got bent out of shape, and started in on a tirade right from the start, accusing us of making personal attacks, calling parents idiots and being disrespectful and condescending. In an effort to extend the olive branch, I asked her why she was so offended. I asked her why she was taking it as a personal attack, when none of what we said was aimed at her. Instead of answering my question, she kept in on her tirade about us being rude and condescending. After several messages like that, I got fed up with her hostility, and stopped being polite to her. She replied to me and called me a bitch.

I really don't understand why parents are so offended at a simple statement of facts. The fact is that the world is overpopulated. The fact is that 49% of pregnancies in the US are unplanned, so obviously there are a lot of people who "just let it happen" and don't give it any thought.

Why would you give the single most life-changing event less thought than you would put into the purchase of a toaster?

Basically all we were saying was that people need to think about it more before they have kids, and this seemed to get parents all bent out of shape. Why? Why do parents take this as a personal attack?

Monday, April 2, 2012

"I was born without the 'mommy gene'."

It really bugs me when childfree people say things like "I was born without the mommy gene." It implies that we're defective in some way because we don't want kids, or that mothers are somehow superior. I can only speak for myself, but I can tell you without a shadow of a doubt, I am not defective or inferior.

I also can't stand it when people say things like "I wouldn't be a good mother" just to placate mothers. Why make excuses? We just don't want to have kids. Making excuses makes it seem like there's something inherently wrong with not wanting kids and we need to make up some seemingly legitimate reason why it's not a good idea for us to have them.

If someone doesn't want to own a dog, they don't have to make excuses like "I was born without the 'dog lovers' gene". If someone doesn't want to climb Mount Everest, they don't need to make excuses like "I was born without the 'mountain climbers' gene" so why should we make excuses like "I was born without the 'mommy gene'"? It's a choice like everything else we do in life.

I don't care if someone has a problem with my not wanting to have kids. It's my life and my uterus, not theirs. They don't get a say in whether or not I have kids. My not having kids doesn't impact their life in any way whatsoever.