Thursday, October 11, 2012

Census shows couples without kids outpacing those with them

Two’s company for a growing number of Canadian couples, with the latest census data showing an ever-widening gap between households with children and households without them. The latter outnumbered the former for the first time in 2006, and the latest numbers reveal that trend has only magnified in the years since.
Though our aging population explains part of the phenomenon, with many baby boomers’ kids having reached adulthood and left home, analysts say the big picture is more diverse. Overall, Canadian families are getting smaller, fertility rates are declining, and many couples are either delaying starting families or snubbing the reproductive imperative altogether.


Sunday, May 13, 2012

Happy (pet) mother's day

Happy mother's day to all the mothers of 4 legged children out there.
Loving an adopted pet is no different than loving an adopted child.

Saturday, May 5, 2012

"I used to be childfree... then I had kids."

That's a surefire way to piss off anyone who is truly childfree in about 1 second flat.

Anyone who says this is not childfree, and never was. They were childless.
You might be saying to yourself "what's the difference?" Someone who is childless doesn't have children right now, but wants to (or might want to) have them at some point in the future.
Someone who is childfree never wants to have children, ever. Not biological children, not adopted children, not step-children.

If you would be ok with adopting, you are not childfree.
If you would be ok with dating/marrying someone with children, you are not childfree.
If you don't want children right now, you are not childfree.
Someone who is childfree doesn't want kids now or ever. Not their own, and not somebody else's.

And you are absolutely, positively not childfree if you dropped your kids off with the grandparents for the day.

Monday, April 16, 2012

Why are parents so offended?

In a recent discussion on a childfree friend's wall on facebook, she posed a question about overpopulation, asking why is it that people spay and neuter their pets in order to control the pet population, but people don't seem concerned at all about human overpopulation.

It's a good question, and I think it's one that more people need to think about, especially before they decide to have children.

She has quite a few childfree people on her friends list, so we were making points about the world being overpopulated, and that if you have even one child, you're contributing to the problem. A couple of us said that a lot of parents don't give it any thought and "just let it happen" (the statistic stating that 49% of pregnancies in the US are unplanned backs that up), and that people should give it more thought before they decide to have children.

One of her mommy friends got bent out of shape, and started in on a tirade right from the start, accusing us of making personal attacks, calling parents idiots and being disrespectful and condescending. In an effort to extend the olive branch, I asked her why she was so offended. I asked her why she was taking it as a personal attack, when none of what we said was aimed at her. Instead of answering my question, she kept in on her tirade about us being rude and condescending. After several messages like that, I got fed up with her hostility, and stopped being polite to her. She replied to me and called me a bitch.

I really don't understand why parents are so offended at a simple statement of facts. The fact is that the world is overpopulated. The fact is that 49% of pregnancies in the US are unplanned, so obviously there are a lot of people who "just let it happen" and don't give it any thought.

Why would you give the single most life-changing event less thought than you would put into the purchase of a toaster?

Basically all we were saying was that people need to think about it more before they have kids, and this seemed to get parents all bent out of shape. Why? Why do parents take this as a personal attack?

Monday, April 2, 2012

"I was born without the 'mommy gene'."

It really bugs me when childfree people say things like "I was born without the mommy gene." It implies that we're defective in some way because we don't want kids, or that mothers are somehow superior. I can only speak for myself, but I can tell you without a shadow of a doubt, I am not defective or inferior.

I also can't stand it when people say things like "I wouldn't be a good mother" just to placate mothers. Why make excuses? We just don't want to have kids. Making excuses makes it seem like there's something inherently wrong with not wanting kids and we need to make up some seemingly legitimate reason why it's not a good idea for us to have them.

If someone doesn't want to own a dog, they don't have to make excuses like "I was born without the 'dog lovers' gene". If someone doesn't want to climb Mount Everest, they don't need to make excuses like "I was born without the 'mountain climbers' gene" so why should we make excuses like "I was born without the 'mommy gene'"? It's a choice like everything else we do in life.

I don't care if someone has a problem with my not wanting to have kids. It's my life and my uterus, not theirs. They don't get a say in whether or not I have kids. My not having kids doesn't impact their life in any way whatsoever.

Friday, March 30, 2012

My reasons for not wanting kids

Some other bloggers have written out lengthy posts detailing all of their reasons for not wanting kids. I thought about doing the same.
I have lots of reasons for not wanting kids. I'm not going to list them, though, because I don't need to justify my life decisions to anybody.

The only reason I'm going to give you is I don't want kids.

If that's not good enough for you, then maybe you need to think about why. What I do with my uterus none of your business.

Thursday, January 19, 2012

The ridiculousness of articles such as "How much is a homemaker worth?"

I came across an article on Yahoo the other day entitled "How much is a homemaker worth?"
Everything listed in this article (except for child care) are all things that single people do as well, but we never see articles saying single people should be paid hundreds of thousands of dollars for doing things that are part of life, and that everyone (not just mothers) has to do. We don't try to self-aggrandize and call ourselves house cleaners just because we cleaned a toilet.

If we follow this logic, I'm a sanitation worker because I flush my toilet. I'm a dog groomer because I bathe my dog. I'm a financial planner because I set myself a budget. I'm a personal shopper because I buy groceries. I'm a personal trainer because I work out. I'm a pastry chef because I bake cookies. I'm a meteorologist because I look outside and say "it's raining".

It all sounds ridiculous, doesn't it? Is that because I don't have children? Would any of the above be true if I did? No, because I don't have the training to be any of those things. I haven't earned the title.

It's no secret that if you have kids, you're going to have to cook for them, clean up after them, and do their laundry, so why do mothers expect praise and admiration for something they chose to do?