In a recent discussion on a childfree friend's wall on facebook, she
posed a question about overpopulation, asking why is it that people spay
and neuter their pets in order to control the pet population, but
people don't seem concerned at all about human overpopulation.
It's a good question, and I think it's one that more people need to think about, especially before they decide to have children.
She
has quite a few childfree people on her friends list, so we were making
points about the world being overpopulated, and that if you have even
one child, you're contributing to the problem. A couple of us said that a
lot of parents don't give it any thought and "just let it happen" (the
statistic stating that 49% of pregnancies in the US are unplanned backs that up), and that people should give it more thought before they decide to have children.
One
of her mommy friends got bent out of shape, and started in on a tirade
right from the start, accusing us of making personal attacks, calling
parents idiots and being disrespectful and condescending. In an effort
to extend the olive branch, I asked her why she was so offended. I asked
her why she was taking it as a personal attack, when none of what we
said was aimed at her. Instead of answering my question, she kept in on
her tirade about us being rude and condescending. After several messages
like that, I got fed up with her hostility, and stopped being polite to
her. She replied to me and called me a bitch.
I really
don't understand why parents are so offended at a simple statement of
facts. The fact is that the world is overpopulated. The fact is that 49%
of pregnancies in the US are unplanned, so obviously there are a lot of
people who "just let it happen" and don't give it any thought.
Why would you give the single most life-changing event less thought than you would put into the purchase of a toaster?
Basically
all we were saying was that people need to think about it more before
they have kids, and this seemed to get parents all bent out of shape.
Why? Why do parents take this as a personal attack?
Monday, April 16, 2012
Monday, April 2, 2012
"I was born without the 'mommy gene'."
It really bugs me when childfree people say things like "I was born without the mommy gene." It implies that we're defective in some way because we don't want kids, or that mothers are somehow superior. I can only speak for myself, but I can tell you without a shadow of a doubt, I am not defective or inferior.
I also can't stand it when people say things like "I wouldn't be a good mother" just to placate mothers. Why make excuses? We just don't want to have kids. Making excuses makes it seem like there's something inherently wrong with not wanting kids and we need to make up some seemingly legitimate reason why it's not a good idea for us to have them.
If someone doesn't want to own a dog, they don't have to make excuses like "I was born without the 'dog lovers' gene". If someone doesn't want to climb Mount Everest, they don't need to make excuses like "I was born without the 'mountain climbers' gene" so why should we make excuses like "I was born without the 'mommy gene'"? It's a choice like everything else we do in life.
I don't care if someone has a problem with my not wanting to have kids. It's my life and my uterus, not theirs. They don't get a say in whether or not I have kids. My not having kids doesn't impact their life in any way whatsoever.
I also can't stand it when people say things like "I wouldn't be a good mother" just to placate mothers. Why make excuses? We just don't want to have kids. Making excuses makes it seem like there's something inherently wrong with not wanting kids and we need to make up some seemingly legitimate reason why it's not a good idea for us to have them.
If someone doesn't want to own a dog, they don't have to make excuses like "I was born without the 'dog lovers' gene". If someone doesn't want to climb Mount Everest, they don't need to make excuses like "I was born without the 'mountain climbers' gene" so why should we make excuses like "I was born without the 'mommy gene'"? It's a choice like everything else we do in life.
I don't care if someone has a problem with my not wanting to have kids. It's my life and my uterus, not theirs. They don't get a say in whether or not I have kids. My not having kids doesn't impact their life in any way whatsoever.
Friday, March 30, 2012
My reasons for not wanting kids
Some other bloggers have written out lengthy posts detailing all of their reasons for not wanting kids. I thought about doing the same.
I have lots of reasons for not wanting kids. I'm not going to list them, though, because I don't need to justify my life decisions to anybody.
The only reason I'm going to give you is I don't want kids.
If that's not good enough for you, then maybe you need to think about why. What I do with my uterus none of your business.
I have lots of reasons for not wanting kids. I'm not going to list them, though, because I don't need to justify my life decisions to anybody.
The only reason I'm going to give you is I don't want kids.
If that's not good enough for you, then maybe you need to think about why. What I do with my uterus none of your business.
Thursday, January 19, 2012
The ridiculousness of articles such as "How much is a homemaker worth?"
I came across an article on Yahoo the other day entitled "How much is a homemaker worth?"
Everything listed in this article (except for child care) are all things that single people do as well, but we never see articles saying single people should be paid hundreds of thousands of dollars for doing things that are part of life, and that everyone (not just mothers) has to do. We don't try to self-aggrandize and call ourselves house cleaners just because we cleaned a toilet.
If we follow this logic, I'm a sanitation worker because I flush my toilet. I'm a dog groomer because I bathe my dog. I'm a financial planner because I set myself a budget. I'm a personal shopper because I buy groceries. I'm a personal trainer because I work out. I'm a pastry chef because I bake cookies. I'm a meteorologist because I look outside and say "it's raining".
It all sounds ridiculous, doesn't it? Is that because I don't have children? Would any of the above be true if I did? No, because I don't have the training to be any of those things. I haven't earned the title.
It's no secret that if you have kids, you're going to have to cook for them, clean up after them, and do their laundry, so why do mothers expect praise and admiration for something they chose to do?
Everything listed in this article (except for child care) are all things that single people do as well, but we never see articles saying single people should be paid hundreds of thousands of dollars for doing things that are part of life, and that everyone (not just mothers) has to do. We don't try to self-aggrandize and call ourselves house cleaners just because we cleaned a toilet.
If we follow this logic, I'm a sanitation worker because I flush my toilet. I'm a dog groomer because I bathe my dog. I'm a financial planner because I set myself a budget. I'm a personal shopper because I buy groceries. I'm a personal trainer because I work out. I'm a pastry chef because I bake cookies. I'm a meteorologist because I look outside and say "it's raining".
It all sounds ridiculous, doesn't it? Is that because I don't have children? Would any of the above be true if I did? No, because I don't have the training to be any of those things. I haven't earned the title.
It's no secret that if you have kids, you're going to have to cook for them, clean up after them, and do their laundry, so why do mothers expect praise and admiration for something they chose to do?
Sunday, August 28, 2011
Women ingesting placenta after birth
I had heard of this before, but I recently saw a story on CTV about it, where the midwife offering the service of encapsulating women's placentas after they give birth says that other mammals eat their placentas after giving birth, so "it seems like something humans should be doing as well."
The reason that other mammals eat the placenta after giving birth is so that predators that could eat the newborn babies aren't attracted by the smell, not because of any health benefits. Humans don't have to worry about predators trying to eat their babies.
Other things that mammals do include eating the newborns' defecation and drinking their urine and eating any offspring with physical deformities. So of course humans should be doing that too, right?
A woman interviewed in the piece aired on CTV claimed that when she takes her placenta pills, she feels like she has more energy, and produces more breast milk. It's entirely possible that any perceived benefits could be attributed to the placebo effect or a confirmation bias.
In my search to find some scientific data on this subject, all I could find was a study from the 1950s on 210 women. I couldn't find any information more recent than that.
The reason that other mammals eat the placenta after giving birth is so that predators that could eat the newborn babies aren't attracted by the smell, not because of any health benefits. Humans don't have to worry about predators trying to eat their babies.
Other things that mammals do include eating the newborns' defecation and drinking their urine and eating any offspring with physical deformities. So of course humans should be doing that too, right?
A woman interviewed in the piece aired on CTV claimed that when she takes her placenta pills, she feels like she has more energy, and produces more breast milk. It's entirely possible that any perceived benefits could be attributed to the placebo effect or a confirmation bias.
In my search to find some scientific data on this subject, all I could find was a study from the 1950s on 210 women. I couldn't find any information more recent than that.
Thursday, August 4, 2011
The "brat" ban
Or as I think it would be more accurately called - the "bad parents" ban.
Society has been putting up with badly behaved kids for far too long. Kids who run around in restaurants, bumping into the servers and making them drop (and sometimes break) things. Kids who run around in stores and bump into people or knock things off the shelves. Kids who just scream while their parents sit there ignoring them, while their screaming brat annoys everyone around them. Why do they do these things? Because their parents don't make them stop doing those things. Because there are no consequences for the kids for doing those things.
Most of the parents of these kids would try to justify it by saying "they're just kids", but it is possible to have well behaved kids. If your kids run around like wild animals, it's because you haven't taught them any different.
(On a related note, my dogs are better behaved than most kids these days).
Interestingly enough, it seems to be the parents who let their kids run around wild who make the most fuss about this ban.
This is not a childfree vs. parents issue. There are a lot of parents who agree with the "brat" ban as well. When they pay for a babysitter so they can go out for a night with the grown-ups, the last thing they want is to hear someone else's kid screaming, crying, or running around and causing trouble, ruining it for everyone else.
Some parents are whining "have some compassion for the children."
How about you have some compassion for the people who are suffering hearing damage due to your kid relentlessly screaming? (A child's screaming can be up to 110 decibels. Anything over 85 decibels can cause hearing damage).
Some parents say things like "how would you have felt as a child if you were excluded from everything?"
Well, as a child, I was excluded from most things my parents did. When my parents went out, my siblings and I stayed home with a babysitter. We rarely went out with my parents. That's the way it was, then (and not all that long ago). We didn't go everywhere with my parents, and we survived. It's not going to kill your kids to not take them everywhere with you. Some places just aren't appropriate for young children.
And before you panic, thinking that pretty soon you won't be able to take your kid out in public anywhere, there are currently only a handful of businesses doing this. Even if it spreads like wildfire and businesses around the world adopt the "brat ban", there will still be places for you to take your kids.
This is a backlash against all of the badly behaved kids whose parents don't discipline them.
If you want someone to blame for this, look in the mirror. Don't blame childfree people and label us as "child haters".
Society has been putting up with badly behaved kids for far too long. Kids who run around in restaurants, bumping into the servers and making them drop (and sometimes break) things. Kids who run around in stores and bump into people or knock things off the shelves. Kids who just scream while their parents sit there ignoring them, while their screaming brat annoys everyone around them. Why do they do these things? Because their parents don't make them stop doing those things. Because there are no consequences for the kids for doing those things.
Most of the parents of these kids would try to justify it by saying "they're just kids", but it is possible to have well behaved kids. If your kids run around like wild animals, it's because you haven't taught them any different.
(On a related note, my dogs are better behaved than most kids these days).
Interestingly enough, it seems to be the parents who let their kids run around wild who make the most fuss about this ban.
This is not a childfree vs. parents issue. There are a lot of parents who agree with the "brat" ban as well. When they pay for a babysitter so they can go out for a night with the grown-ups, the last thing they want is to hear someone else's kid screaming, crying, or running around and causing trouble, ruining it for everyone else.
Some parents are whining "have some compassion for the children."
How about you have some compassion for the people who are suffering hearing damage due to your kid relentlessly screaming? (A child's screaming can be up to 110 decibels. Anything over 85 decibels can cause hearing damage).
Some parents say things like "how would you have felt as a child if you were excluded from everything?"
Well, as a child, I was excluded from most things my parents did. When my parents went out, my siblings and I stayed home with a babysitter. We rarely went out with my parents. That's the way it was, then (and not all that long ago). We didn't go everywhere with my parents, and we survived. It's not going to kill your kids to not take them everywhere with you. Some places just aren't appropriate for young children.
And before you panic, thinking that pretty soon you won't be able to take your kid out in public anywhere, there are currently only a handful of businesses doing this. Even if it spreads like wildfire and businesses around the world adopt the "brat ban", there will still be places for you to take your kids.
This is a backlash against all of the badly behaved kids whose parents don't discipline them.
If you want someone to blame for this, look in the mirror. Don't blame childfree people and label us as "child haters".
Friday, July 22, 2011
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